Things to remember

The truth is that there are no answers. There is no secret ingredient (who's seen Kung Fu Panda, knows it :). The thruth in my life is that I desperately want to feel something. I was having a nice chat with my flatmate tonight over a glass of red wine and realized that all I want out of life is emotions. Pure, disturbing, even heart breaking emotions. Being miserable is memorable. I remember the times I was miserable, and sad and torn, but I do not remember the times when I was completely numb to things surrounding me... And I pretty much want to remember things about my life... I happen to wake up during the night and realize that one day I won't be around anymore. I want to remember...

I have had mixed emotions about many things, but one thing I know for sure: experiencing is a gift that fuels my creative motor and it is probably my duty as an aspiring writer to live as much as I can so I can finally make sense of the craziness surrounding me.

Playing it safe is not for me. I have many times reproached myself for not playing it safe, but sooner or later I end up letting myself go up to a certain point and that kind of attitude always brought some kind of result.

I remember a forbiden kiss, a dangerous liaison and a rejection. I am seriously wondering whether life is not in fact located in the memories...

I have asked myself many questions lately. And sadly enough didn't find an answer. The only remote answer I could give myself is to just trust my instincts...