The amazing lightness of being

Source: wewanderandwonder.com

“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.”

- G.K. Chesterton

Remember I was telling you about personal mantras? Well, they work so well for me that I'm starting to break them down into life chunks. I now have personal mantras for work like 'Lower your voice when on the phone', 'Read an e-mail twice before replying', personal mantras for dating like 'Never blame yourself when thing don't work out', 'There is always someone else!', universally valid personal mantras like 'Stop judging', personal mantras for exercising and sports like 'Don't swing at shit!' or 'Breathe deeply', personal mantras for writing like 'Trust your inner voice', you name it. But one personal mantra that's really made an amazing impact on my life is 'Be light!'


Now - seriously - we take things in life way too seriously! I for one have been one of the biggest offenders and maybe because yes, it is easier to be heavy, that to be light. But writing a big bold sign in big chunky letters and repeating this every time I have the tendency to take things too seriously again has brought a new amazing dimension to my life. Let's explore...

I've made no secret from the fact that last year I decided to become abstinent for an indefinite period of time. And I believe it was an excellent idea at the time - it helped me get my head around the whole sex thing and work through some feelings like guilt and shame which should not be associated with a thing so wonderful as intimacy between two people. My decision to become abstinent was a serious one. And it scared a few men away along the way, but that's ok. I obviously wasn't in the zone.  I had to sort out feelings about myself before I shared anything with anyone else. And now I am feeling like the wait is over because I have utmost respect for myself and for my body, so I can finally let go and enjoy myself! Light as a feather, I am also confronting situations I was scared of before and looking at things from the driving seat perspective.

Being light is an incredible asset in the dating process. I have lost the telling off attitude and adopted one of carefreeness. I figured that being afraid that things won't work out will affect my ability to have fun so I have decided to treat every date as if I would never see that person again (applying a principle portrayed by Senecca as 'People get angry because they're too hopeful' so I stopped being too hopeful). And it works magic. I am being silly and saying random things like 'I want to cuddle owls because they're so fluffy' or 'What's your favourite constellation?' not worrying what the guy is thinking about me. And surprisingly, they're coming back for more :) More details in the book ;)

I figured that there's something incredibly attractive to the lightness of being. Nobody wants to be judged, measured, scolded, told off and what not. But everybody shares the same desire of being playful and having fun. And I am grateful to my new set of mantras which make me a light non-judgemental presence I really like having around a lot. No more grievances, just freedom!