The art of loving yourself

About a year ago, during coffee and cake, I was complaining to a friend that things didn't work out for me in the romantic department. She candidly asked if I loved myself and I almost felt offended by the question. Of course I loved myself. I had read 'The Mastery of Love' by Don Miguel Ruiz, didn't I!? Doh!...

Now, the truth is I was only beginning to scratch the surface of self-love and even though I was on the right path, I was still far from practising true self-love. It was more a case of 'I don't hate myself anymore'...

It wasn't until later that I realised loving yourself requires the same time investment as loving somebody else does. Sure, you can fall in love with someone at first sight, instantly, but real love is built on time. To love yourself takes a bloody long time too.

And we're not always good at showing ourselves that love. I still do stupid things which are not good for me. This Bank Holiday week-end for instance I drank a lot of alcohol. Sure, I used to drink a lot of alcohol regularly, but it was back then, when I didn't really love myself. So even though I still enjoy an alcoholic beverage or two, I stay away from excess these days. I feel really guilty when I over-drink and eat crap food, because I know it has a negative impact on my body. So that's when I know I am doing a good job at loving myself. Because I care. I care about the consequences of my loving or less loving acts. So today, I woke up early in the morning and went to a class at the gym so I can feel like this again! :)

Recently another amazing truth hit me: there is no self-love love without acceptance and forgiveness. The same way, you'd forgive a repenting lover bringing you flowers as a way of saying sorry for something he'd done, the same way you must forgive yourself. So rather than beating myself up about having drank too much and slept too little, I accepted the fact that it has happened and that I just had to move on. And instead of beating myself up about it, I just went 'Ok, you can be silly sometimes. It's not the end of the world!' and decide to spend some time eating and sleeping better and probably avoiding alcohol for a while.

I think that the point I'm trying to make is that loving yourself is a longer process, which requires effort and it requires you to act. You can't just decide one day that this is it, from now on you'll love yourself. Because that would be a lie. To truly love yourself is to do a little bit about it every day!