Inspire

My motivational collage
(sourced via bing images and created with photovisi)

A few days ago I decided to turn my life around. I am not sure when and how it became totally clear to me that this was it! The decision I've been postponing for the whole of my life was finally made. I wasn't going to sit around anymore, complain about men, weather, people on the tube, lack of motivation or whatever else; I was going to take active part in creating the life I want for myself. And I know it's going to be a long and hard journey but I am finally ready to embrace the change and deal with all the obstacles, the set-backs, the disappointments, the rejections, the fear...

Because not doing so it's something I won't be able to live with. I have reached the point when I am clear about how a meaningless life would made me feel. I've been through that already, I've experienced the lows of denying my true nature, trying to be who I'm not, trying to pursue for myself other people's dreams, blending in, looking for comfort, being scared! Like when I was on top of the mountain looking down with the fear of being rejected by the slope, for not being good enough. The only thing I am scared about is not to do what I now set out to do.

I am not entirely sure where this new found energy came from but I suspect there was a series of factors that brought it along. The Hunger Games, the dumping, the cold and the rain, the need for something greater, the reminder of who I used to be...

I used to be the teenager who wrote poetry and secretly 'admirehated' Mircea Eliade for training himself sleep only 4 hours a night when just a highscool pupil so he can read and write more, the teenager who was consuming some of the world's greatest literature with no or little interest in going out and partying with her peers, the teenager who had very big dreams and was regularly writing in her diary 'I don't want to die with a mediocre soul'. And it suddenly occurred to me that I don't know what happened to that teenager. She tried too hard to save herself the pain of failure and became just like everybody else.

And here I was, reclaiming my teenage self and deciding that fear was no longer an option. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes. The problem with becoming your true self is selecting which individual activity you are going to pursue. And after letting some of the options dance in a circle inside my head, I eventually saw them aligning into what seemed to be a word. I concentrated to try and read the word and smiled when I finally could make it out. It was INSPIRE!

Therefore, everything I will ever do from now will be to inspire and be inspired. My whole life will revolve around inspire and with your help we will inspire each other. I am planning to ask a few of my friends who have proved to be an inspiration themselves to give us some insights to share with us all so we can be inspired and inspire others.

So this is the first step. Making the decision. The rest will naturally follow.

Stay inspired!