The boy with the bread

'The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread'  
Mother Teresa. 

I know I've been going on and on about the Hunger Games the last few days and I risk sounding like a broken record by now but there are not many  stories that moved me so deeply and shook me to the core as much as the Hunger Games did. To the point that I am almost upset this is only the product of a very talented someone's imagination and not a real story (minus the violence and the destruction, of course, but there's already plenty of that going on in the world as it is).  To the point that I am amazed how Suzanne Collins did such an incredible job with the characters, how she made them almost legendary, how she gave the world not only a page turner but also a deeply moving story with an ultimately very strong social message.

I can count on my fingers the books that have poisoned me with such an intense emotion, consumed me and burnt me to the point that I almost wanted to disintegrate from my present and live forever between their pages.  I think I can name just a few: Pride and Prejudice, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Shadow of the Wind, One Day... There are probably hundreds of other books I truly enjoyed and appreciated, but which didn't leave me empty and still shaken the moment that last page turned. Hunger Games did...

It's because of the boy with the bread. I mentioned already a few days ago that I fell in love with a 17-year old fictional character: Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread.  I've been thinking about it since: what is the one thing I can say about this character, the one word that says it all and it's the one truly necessary quality for me to fall hopelessly in love with someone. It's because he's noble. Yes, noble is the word, because it means so many things: distinguished, moral, honest, of excellent character, principled, worthy, dignified, admirable, courageous, high-minded. All these in the same person,  a normal, gentle, strong, friendly and approachable person. That's the most attractive thing in the world to me. And I am glad I finally figured it out.

I feel so inspired by his character (and many others from the book) that I am almost afraid to take a look at my life and realise I am not noble. At least not at the moment... Don't suppose you can call yourself noble just by living your normal life, not hurting anyone, but neither doing anything amazing for someone else either, just following your everyday routine, not really being fully aware of the things and people around, engulfed in your own thoughts about your own self. I don't think I can call myself noble and that's a truth I have to face...


I've been looking at my life for a long time now. Turning it and tossing it around without figuring it out what I am looking for. But I think I found the answer. I need to step out of my comfort zone and become a noble person, someone who cares, someone who inspires, someone who gets closer to the truth. I am yet to find the expression of that, but having mentioned to one of my good friends the other day how engulfed I was in the Hunger Games and how I wished so hard for me to be capable of inspiring such feelings in people she said I was already doing that... That surprised me because I never thought much about my blog posts. I always thought they were some kind of therapeutic expression of my feelings and emotions. But she said: 'We all feel this kind of things, but we can't all write about them the way you do...' I thank her for that. She may have awaken something in me..Some sort of hunger... 


'So before he can talk, I stop his lips with a kiss. 


I feel that thing again. The thing I only felt once before. In the cave, last year, when I was trying to get Haymitch to send us food. I kissed Peeta about a thousand times during those Games and after. But there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir inside. Only one that made me want more (...)


And after a few attempts, Peeta gives up talking. The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being. Instead of satisfying me, the kisses have the opposite effect, of making my need greater. I thought I was something of an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely new kind.'


('The Hunger Games - Catching Fire')