What we learn in life

I have learned that... I haven't learned anything.

My heart hurts as bad as it hurt when I was 18 when a guy that I liked wouldn't even look at me, or when somebody stood me up. The emotions are still as as intense as ever, the only thing that is different about dealing with disappointment when you are 30 is that is takes a bit less to recover. Recovery period has shrinked from 2 months to 2 days, which is nevertheless a progress. I have told myself numerous times that I have to stop feeling and be totally reasonable and composed about any kind of tricky situation, but when I find myself yet again in the slum all I ever think about is: I am so unlucky and miserable. Thanks God now it doesn't get long to get back on the road and keep walking as if nothing happened, but my heart (the traitoress) never forgets and it reminds me once in a while that I will always be a loser (especially in the matters of the heart).

I haven't learned that it is tricky to work with women bosses that are scared themselves that they don't know what the hell they are doing and instead of accepting the situation and make it work, I end up hating my boss for not being a man.

I haven't learned about the fact that shit happens all the time and as long as you still have your health, all your senses, two legs and two hands and a reasonably ok face, you are luckier than thousands of other people.

I haven't learned not to be afraid, because I will always land on my feet and that people can actually survive if any conditions if they really wanted to live and make the most of it.

I haven't learned to just trust that everything happens for a reason and that it will in the end be all right.

But even the things I haven't learned about at the dawn of my third decade on this planet may one day make me a wiser and happier person. I should hope so.