On being a woman of high value

Via pinterest

You may have noticed I've been a bit more quiet lately (or just less vocal than usually, some might say). The reason being I'm doing lots and lots and lots of research for the 'Love book' (that's how I like to call it now :). And the more I dig deep into the whole love and dating universe I discover so much more about myself. I suppose that in the end this is its purpose: I'm going on a journey and taking everyone else along with me.

One of the things I've come across during my readings, is the notion of 'high value' woman. Nothing special so far because don't we all, modern women of today, really value ourselves?

I don't know. Looking back at my own life, I wouldn't be so sure...

In order to be perceived as someone of high value you have to be someone of high value. Every day, in every relationship. You don't take a break from being 'high value'.

I remember there was a time in my life (not too long ago, I'm reluctantly admitting) when I had mainly casual relationships. When asked, I replied saying that the people I got involved with weren't what I was looking for anyway, so in the meantime, I might as well just have fun. In time, it became a lifestyle, a way of being. Soon I forgot how to act differently...

So I had to change. In every aspect, in every relationship, past any history I may had had with anyone, I had to start acting like a woman of high value. Because it wasn't about how 'they' perceived me but about how I perceived myself!

Starting with friendships. The moment you can stand up to a 'friend' who only contacts you for last minute social requests, then you can stand up to a man you're dating and do the same thing. Your friend doesn't value you and neither does the man you're dating.

And moving onto the 'mixed' friendships. Let's admit it, we all have them. That guy who is really just your friend, but is always there to have a drink with you, massage your ego when you get dumped and somehow ends up between your bedsheets with your lipstick all over his face. Or the friend who really is just a friend and he sees nothing but a big fat 'FRIEND' in you, but who you really fancy the pants out of him and secretly hope he'll see one day how amazing you are and fancy the pants out of you back. Yes, all those 'mixed' friendships are bad for you. Finish them or sort them out. Friends or lovers! Or nothing! Being an 'in betweener' doesn't bring you anything of value.

And finishing with the men you are dating. Or would like to. Or you need to stop dating. All those men who don't see in you the same 'high value' as you do are a no brainer. They'll cancel themselves out. All the others who do see, will make an effort and they're really the only ones who deserve to get to know you.

It's not so easy to spot and stop the relatioships in your life which are undermining your 'high value', but don't let yourself be put off. Sometimes they feel so natural, they're so imbedded in your life that it will take a bit of searching. But it's like starting training for a marathon. It always ever starts with that first mile...

I've been training for this kind of 'marathon' for a while and happy to see the results in my everyday life. I'm not ready to run the whole race yet, but I'm definitely in the right training programme. And I can highly recommend it ;)