So it looks like on my 33rd year on this planet I may have finally learnt a thing or two. Things which may seem pretty obvious to others but who weren't so obvious for me and, who knows, probably for lots of other confused individuals out there.
Today I want to talk about the inner 'attention seeker'. In some people it's not so inner, it's pretty much out in the open. It usually manifests itself through self-taken Instagram pictures (guilty!), pictures taken with the phone in the mirror - usually semi-naked (not guilty!), extreme cleavage - both men and women, we know who they are - (guilty, but only in my early 20's), responding to anyone who pays attention to them (guilty!), pouting in every photo (oh, so guilty!), posting pictures of themselves in a bikini on FB (guility!), heavy make-up and self tan (not guilty!), bragging about all sorts of performances (guilty!), texting/messaging people just to get a reply from them (guilty!), laughing loudly (guilty, but only when it's intentional, I am usually a loud person!), doing favours just to receive attention (guilty!). And many other symptoms.
The truth is that with the rise of Facebook, Twitter, fashion blogging etc more cases of 'attention seeking' have been reported in the world. So what, you might say! It's not like looking for attention ever killed anyone. Well, there are two important side-effects of attention seeking disease:
1) It keeps on giving.
The sufferer has no rest day and night without attention, it wants more, it does more to get it, eventually it leaves him/her empty and exhausted.
2) It serves no purpose.
Attention seeking is nothing but the result of a low self esteem (you should trust me on this one because I know everything there is to know about low self esteem). And it serves no purpose. Attracting attention needs to have a purpose, some sort of intent in mind.
Writing on a blog is a form of attention seeking, some of you might argue. It certainly is. In my case it's kind of how it started. I needed a place to vent, a place where I could talk about myself for the sole purpose of talking about myself and have others reading it. But in time, my intentions changed. Now I just want to share what I discover about myself in the hope that my own experiences could influence positively on those who read it. That's all. And that's why I am writing on this blog. Day in and day out.
So if anything, give your attention seeking a higher purpose. Otherwise, it's plain lame!
Since I took the time to judge myself and found myself guilty as hell for seeking ego-driven attention, I decided to do something about it. A little bit every day. Post less on Facebook, do more soul searching, increase my self esteem, give myself more love, add higher meaning to my actions. Until I am able to say I am 'attention-seeking' free!
Because I'm kicking the inner 'attention seeker' out! Be gone, you fool!
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