My holiday romance

I have this theory about relationships. Why they are so difficult to find and keep. It's a theory about 'Too many options'.

Take holiday romances for example. Travelling up and down Vietnam for 3 weeks I've met many people.  People who travel behave differently when in a hot new environment and they need not worry about consequences or expectations. People get together and get apart with the speed of lightning. If that's what one is looking for, you're spoiled for choice when travelling in a hot country. Sun kissed skin is on display everywhere, bleached hair and gym trained bodies are running free without apologies, providing a feast for hungry eyes. The tropical sun has the power to transform and everyone looks like legendary amazons. It's a cool crowd to be part of. It's a cool crowd to hook up with. If that's what one is looking for...

I've been practising abstinence for almost 6 months now. Because I couldn't deal anymore with the side-effects of meaningless sex. And it's a lot easier than I initially thought, easier than quitting smoking or renouncing alcohol. But being abstinent didn't bring a hell of a lot of holiday romance my way. I kept myself pretty much at bay, with the occasional harmless flirt. And that's when you stop being interesting to holiday romancers. When there's a world of options out there, you're just another passenger without much to offer. I certainly don't regret my decision but it made me think. Unlike relationships in the city, holiday relationships may actually really start with sex. But I was happy just to observe and enjoy being a bit of a 'Mother Teresa' (as one of my friends likes to call me).

Towards the end of my trip I met a lovely Slovenian - German couple whom I befriended during the day trip to Cu Chi tunnels. We immediately clicked and decided to have drinks in the evening together. As we were sipping (some of us slurping, ie me) Saigon beers on the roof terrace of the hotel I was staying at, they asked me if I had a boyfriend They seemed really surprised when I said I didn't.

I suddenly found myself compelled to defend myself and retorted excuses from my existential theories (which is also the basis of my dating book in the making): 'The problem with living in London' I said, 'is that there are too many options and individuals feel pressured  to go out there and always search for something better. The level of consumerism is so high that people treat relationships the same way they treat a Snickers bar: consume and discard the wrapping. I have been unable to find a meaningful relationship as yet.'

As I was talking, I could see their distrustful faces.

'The truth is' I said toning down my enthusiasm, 'I don't know why I am single. It's just what it is.'

That moment there I had an epyphany and I remember it because:

a) I realised that my theories are probably full of dingo-crap.  Everyday, thousands of people get together, get married, move to the suburbs and make babies in London.

b) Maybe there is another reason why I am single (and have been for many years) which has nothing to do with my theories about 'too many options'. Maybe little old me has been spared couple-life because little old me has got something else to do with her life than move to the suburbs and make babies. Maybe a holiday romance is still out there waiting for me...