Friday, 9 November 2012

The life formula


Turns our life is as simple as E=mc2. Ok, maybe not quite so ‘simple’, but you get what I mean.

It took me a while until I figured things out, though. I mean, I’ve spent long hard years complaining, feeling victimised, unloved, ugly, fat, stuck, persecuted by everything and everyone around me. And the more I placed the blame on things outside of myself, the more I got tangled into the vertigo of feeling like crap for nearly every single day of my life. And since everyone did the same, I thought it was normal.

But thankfully a day came when I got tired of it and I decided I was going to try a little something called positive thinking. And guess what? It worked. My life got better, I turned into a beautiful swan and had men swarming around me like in a Lynx for women advert! Gotcha! Not true, of course. But that’s besides the point because you know what else I found out while trying positive thinking and failing at it almost every single day for a very long time? That it’s not an easy process and that it takes a lot more than covering up the dirt under the shiny carpet I’ve just cleaned with my ‘Power Positive Thinking’ magic cleaner. It takes a lot of soul detoxing, a lot of ego renunciation, a lot of enjoyment of the simple things and a lot of looking at the sky every single day and saying : ’Wow, I’ve never quite seen anything like this before.’

And after trying all these things every day until it all became quite normal, I’ve figured it out! There is a formula to life. It’s called: do nothing which is not true to your essence and enjoy what makes you happy until you cry. You find yourself in the wrong crowd and feeling uncomfortable? Get the hell out of there? A guy hasn’t treated you right? Delete his number? Fuck it, take him off your Facebook list of friends! That pig statue from October Fest next to the TV making you cringe? Break it! Is that friend you’ve known since high school being condescending? Stop answering her calls! The boss being unfair to you? Tell him in his face! Want more money at work? Ask for it! Found out that there is somebody out here who cares for you? Jump up and down with joy! Haven’t spoken to your Mum today? Call her and tell her how much you love her! Want to take that trip to Botswana? Just do it!

And this is, my friends, the life formula I have finally figured out. Thank God it’s not too late!

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