New Year resolutions

Today we went for a Xmas lunch with our Boss, bought him a pressie and started talking about all kinds of random things as we usually do. Then we suddenly started talking about New Year resolutions. I haven't really thought about it, but more than ever, I feel that this year's end truly means an end to an era and next year will bring a start to a whole new dimension in my life. I can feel it.
This year I have finally made peace with a lot of issues that were troubling me. This year I am finishing with my Masters, I've got my blue card, I've moved, I've travelled, I've made a lot of new friends and I started to finally love London. I can now see the London I was suppose to see when I first came, with that naive fresh vision that I had back when I was 23, with that hunger for life and adventure that I then lost along the way. I know I have completely lost myself at some point and I am glad to say that I found myself once again. That feeling of "I am not where I am supose to be" is gone and now if I do wake up in the middle of the night I think " Hell, yeah, I am exactly where I am suppose to be, I'm on my way".
I went the other day to Gloucester Road to the Thai Embassy. God, I know this place very well. I think I came to Gloucester Road tons of times to work or to check the staff at Millenium Gloucester Hotel during my days back at the agency. I do not recall pleasant feelings about the area... Though I remember one sunny day when I was smoking a cigarette on a bench outside the tube station and thought about how maybe my life will be different one day, I would go to University and be a full righted citizen in he UK. Now thinking about it, I am all that. And with that thought in mind, I made up with Gloucester Road as well.

But coming back to New Year resolutions, although I have not really though about it in a serious way (as I usually do when it comes to those things), I kind of have a pretty good idea what I want to achieve for myself in the next year.
Firstly, next year I'll be 30 and as I promised myself a while ago, there are a few things that I probably always dreamt about doing and I wanted to do them before I turn 30. I will make a list and try to stick to that list if it kills me! I could mention a few from the top of my mind: learn how to dance tango, go to Argetina, go to New York and get a ride in a limo and finally write that book I have been toying with. I think I am ready for the biggest challenge of my life: writing. I always had a sense of mediocracy attached to me, but as time goes by I am becoming more confident and things don't happen overnight but they require hard work and many failures before something good is achieved. I know that I cannot bear to be ridiculed as a writer and also prefer to spare myself the disapointment of bad writing, but then again, I owe to myself to try and fail if necessary. At least I won't be longing for it for the rest of my life.
I must say that writing on this blog helped me a great deal to come to terms with the ideas that are always running around inside my head and also getting some kind of feed-back from people gave me a boost and the confidence to keep doing it. Perhaps it is some kind of mental preparation for what it is still to come.
Well, there you go. Quite bold and outrageous New Year resolutions. I remember the times when I was writing down in my diary that in the New Year I will go to gym and lose weight. This is now a part of my life that I don't even think of anymore, I just do it.
Another funny thought I had at lunch today. Aga was saying that she thinks that she must have lived in an Arabic country in another life. All that talk about past lives sprung some strange ideas to my mind: would I ever start over again?... I know we all feel nostalgic about losing chidlhood and adolescence and all, but when I think about it when you are mature you have it all. Plus, at any given age you are probably the best version of a your younger self and you keep growing into a better you until the day you die. Probably even old age has some magic attached to it. You see things with clarity and serenity and gone are the days of struggling to find out who you really are. Therefore I ask, would I ever turn back the clock and start all over again. Hell, no! And that is a crazy feeling. You're not yearning for the past anymore, you just want to embrace the future and what it holds for you... And that is probably a sign that you are happy...