Cleaning up my act

I've said it before and will keep repeating it until it gets stuck to my brain for good: approaching 30 is a joy and not a tragedy.

The truth is I am observing changes within myself and this is a great thing. Firstly, I am quitting smoking (well not completely, I am still a social smoker but managed a few good whole days without smoking at all), reducing the amounts of alcohol I bring into my body (perhaps not the daily recommended dose, but at least reducing when I can help it and drinking strictly when I go out), getting myself involved in all sorts of fun activities (tomorrow I go disco roller blading and sunday indoor climbing) and not getting impressed by someone being a gentleman because this is how they should be!!

Honestly, I had to find that out because of my age and even if I will have to spend my whole life looking for the perfect gentleman Spanish Speaking Irishman (lol!) I am not going to tolerate anymore the lack of manners and also not be so impressed by a man just doing his job.

The only thing that confuses me is how come I haven't seen this before? All this was in front of my eyes, at my reach and I wasn't able to see. I wasn't able to see that I can go on living without smoking, heavily drinking and tolerating men with no manners. I have finally cleaned up my act and I congratulate myself for it.

We're not getting older, everyone else is getting younger...

It's becoming obvious: I am developing phobias towards "shoreditch teenage groupies", rude people and show offs.

I have been thinking about this for a while: it seems to me that people my age (let's call them middle-aged) are dissapappearing from the scene. Slowly slowly London nightlife is being taken over by teenagers. Not only this disturbs me, it really depresses me.

I had a completely awful Friday night when after attending and eagerly awaited Underground Bingo event which turned out to be a massive dissapointment I ended up in an even more disapointing gay club where ladyboys patronisingly ruled the place.

Not only that all the attendees of the much awaited Bingo night (except for our group) were part of the Society of Scary Shoreditch Teenagers, the queues to the toilet were an absolute torture and getting a drink from the bar a serious adventure who could have possibly left injuries and scars. I was wearing heels thinking that playing bingo meant also sitting down while playing, but it turned out that there were no seats and by the time my bladder was nearly exploding, so were my feet. I suggested to the others that we either went somewhere else or I was happy to have gone home as I couldn't have taken it anymore. We agreed on leaving and after painfully walking for about 20 minutes I felt the need of sweetening the night up with a double cheeseburger at MacDonalds (it was an emergency, ok?!). We then headed for the Bathroom Club where we had to pay entrance fee to a heavily maked-up ladyboy wearing a huge and ridiculos bow on his head. I always like to try out new places, but ending up in a gay club wasn't really going to make me feel better. I am sorry but when exactly being a normal middle-aged person trying to have fun on a Friday night out has become out of fashion?

Pretty much depressed I headed home wondering where have all the normal people gone...

I hoped to erase the memory of a depressing Friday night by trying to compensate with a better Saturday night out. It seemed to me more than reasonable to try and find new areas hoping that normal people were still around somewhere. We went to Camden Town (I really had better memories about that place) as friends planned on going to a cheesy disco club (which sounded pretty safe and fun to me) in the area. After waiting in the line and nearly getting in, my friend and I, decided to make a run for our lives after noticing that all the people in the line were the kind of people that were asked to show an ID to get in. I couldn't handle anymore teenagers. That moment I realized that I had developed a phobia.

Sadly, I realized that I cannot handle the situation anymore. The secret to a successful living it is not Diesel brand, but the group of people that you associate/socialize with. I am seriosuly wondering where are the normal people and all the normal places to go out and still enjoy life when you are in your 30s. Better yet, how will people enjoy themselves later on, what happens with the ageing people? Where do they go when teenage invasion will become truly unstoppable?... I wonder...

On a different page

Just read Douglas Coupland's "All Families Are Psychotic" and it's a great read. It's like a Tarantino film on paper. So American and dynamic. Kept me reading and going, full of advetures and twists, funny and reliably crazy. However, I wouldn't really call it mindblowing literature. I suppose it would be a good movie if Tarantino directed it.

What truly shocks me though is the below:

"On Thursday afternoon, Katie (Price aka Jordan) was launching her novel Sapphire at London store Selfridges.

She said: "It's my 32nd book I've got out, so I'm really proud. It's a good read, a good summer read like all my others."... "I've got a style book coming out in October and even if you can't read it's a good book, it's got lots of pictures."

Her 32nd book??? When the hell did this happen?... And I can't bring myself around to write a stupid short story thinking it wouldn't be good enough. What the hell! There must be enough "idiots" out there to read my stuff if Jordan's books are good summer reads!

Coming of age

I guess it's happening. I have been thinking about it for a long time and couldn't really grasp what the problem was... Now I know. I am joining a whole new age group.

What are the changes?... Well, I started jogging again, I almost quit smoking (I only smoke when going out), I am not going out as much anymore, I don't drink that much or that often anymore, I am becoming simply more conscious. I realized that I must look good and feel good about myself. It is all I got left as I am no longer irresponsibly young. My fantasies about decadence are slowly fading away. I suppose the only way to live the life you never could have had is by writing about it.

Joining a new age group and getting admitted into a whole new category is pretty scary at first. I suffered a lot when I realized I was no longer a child and it took me quite a while to embrace the teenage years. When in my early 20s I realized that I was becoming a mature person, it scared me and pleased me in the same time. I was still young enough to be irresponsible and yet mature enough to do things without asking for parental permission.

Until recently, at the dawn of my third decade on this planet, I felt I was running out of time, I felt I haven't achieved things I was supposed to, I felt I ought to have found my soul mate etc. as if I was given a deadline in order to reach certain things. Now I feel relieved. The closer I get to 30, the more I realize that it really doesn't matter. What matters is that I have grown and transformed into the new age group I am ready to enter. I am calmer, wiser, more spiritual, I have more patience and now I know what I want to achieve. My 20s were such a complicated quest for what I really wanted. Now all is left is doing what I want, after finally deciding on it.

It is a time for change and I am embracing it.