'That's right, you women have so many gifts you're not even grateful for. Like giving birth! I'd love to be able to give birth' he said.
No, I do enjoy weird conversations and I didn't think too much about it until this morning on the tube when I saw something which I initially thought must have been an optical illusion. You know, like when you stare too long at a striped pattern until the lines get blurred and you feel like your vision has been tempered with and you may never be able to look at stripes again. At Leicester Square a man wearing a striped top (go figure!), a 'beer belly' (or so I thought) and a 'Baby on Board' badge (WTF!?) got on and a guy to my left immediately and politely (or frightened) gave up his seat. I probably would have been oblivious to the whole thing if I hadn't seen the guy who gave up his seat going all the way to the other end of the carriage as if he's seen the devil incarnated.
The 'pregnant man' was to my left a couple of seats away and I couldn't quite see his face (at this point I was still unsure whether what I saw was true or the result of staring at his striped top) l so I decided to study the faces of the people in front of me and see if I notice anything suspicious. They all looked composed but there was something on their faces I can't quite describe in a word. Something along the lines of 'Ok, we're all cool with gay people getting married and all but pregnant men, well, that's a step too far. But I'll keep my cool because I don't want to be judged as judgemental!' And I think my face must have had the same look on it and when I realised that, I decided to change my attitude. He got off at the next stop, just as I was gathering courage to go and ask him if he was a man. Just like children do. And this is how my hypothetical conversation with the pregnant man would go:
'Excuse me, but are you a man?'
'Yes, dear. I am.'
'And you are pregnant?'
'Yep!' he would say with a smile.
'Umm, and how did you get pregnant?'
'Well, there is something called IVF which has been developed for men. They induced an ectopic pregnancy by implanting an embryo and placenta into my abdominal cavity, just under the peritoneum.'
'Wow, and does it hurt. You know, to have a baby growing inside?'
'Well, it doesn't hurt. But it does feel weird. And it does tickle me and it moves a lot. And I have troubles sleeping but otherwise my pregnancy is normal.'
'And how will you give birth?'
'There's only one way I can do it, by C section. They'll have to remove the placenta too which is quite dangerous as it can cause hemorrhage. Implantation may have also involved other structures in the abdomen, including the bowel and it is possible that parts of other organs may need to be removed but hey ho.'
'Wow. I must admire your courage.'
'Women put their lives in danger with every pregnancy so I'm not expecting is to be easier for men.'
'Very well said. Oh well, here's my stop! Good luck with your pregnancy.'
This may be an imaginary conversation but all this above is true. Male pregnancy is being tested. As we speak Mr. Lee Mingwei, a rather well know American artist, is very much pregnant and being monitored during his gestation period, as part of male pregnancy research. You can read all about it here and keep up to date with his pregnancy journal.
I must confess I'm not too sure what to think about it all. I mean, we live in a very gender confused society where the division between men and women is slowly disappearing. Women have been accused of trying to become men. "Men have always been afraid that women could get along without them." others (Margaret Mead) say.
But others are celebrating this imminent possibility. Let them share the burden, women say. We want to know how it feels to bring life onto this planet, men say. Is this right or is this wrong?... What do you think?
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