A jacket for life

I've got many jackets. I've got more clothes than I need, to be honest. Suppose most females do these days. All the result of impulse purchases, sales, obsessive compulsive behaviour. All to make me feel better about myself.

Last year, on my way to India, I bought this black leather jacket from All Saints. Just perfect. Practically lived in it since I bought it, come rain or shine. Makes all my other jackets and coats completely useless, as I've not been wearing any of them since IT came into my life.They're just taking up space in my tiny room. I'm thinking about getting rid of them all. In fact I'm thinking I should be getting rid of all the useless pairs of shoes and bags I've accumulated over the years, all gathering dust in boxes under my bed, on top of my wardrobe, inside drawers, in storage. Things I don't need!

But this leather jacket, I tell you, is so special.  It makes me feel like myself. It makes me think: this is me today, as I intend everyone else to see me, it makes me feel strong, resolute, flexible, natural. It makes me look good! Like it's been there layered over my own skin all my life.

It got me thinking about how there comes a time in one's life when you stop being so wasteful. With one's money, energy, thoughts, relationships etc. The more we live the more we realise the time is precious and we maybe only need one fitted little black leather jacket to survive. But this leather jacket, man, it needs to be so special. It needs to feel like an extension of one's self. A jacket for life.

I've been on many dates. I've met lots of people. I've kissed a lot of frogs. Suppose most females do these days. All the result of alcohol, impulses, desperation, fear of being lonely, obsessive compulsive behaviour. All to make me feel better about myself.

Now I feel like I want to get rid of all of that. All that ballast, drop it  in on a hole in the ground somewhere and pour a ton of dirt on top of it.

And find myself somebody for life. Somebody who's going to make me feel good about myself and it's going to feel like it's been there layered on top of my own soul all my life...