My week in words - EMPOWERMENT

I haven’t been able to write ‘My week in words’ in a while. Mainly because I am busy at accumulating words from all sources for my dating book, as if in a race against clock and I’m lacking the time and the headspace. It’s strange, but I finally feel I no longer have all the time in the world to sit around thinking about writing books and I’ve actually given myself deadlines. And time flies. So I’m lagging behind on ‘regular sections’, posts etc.

But this week I feel the need to talk about a word I’ve really been obsessing about lately. I want to talk about empowerment.

 

Source: lipstickandpolitics.com

 

My research about love is strangely bringing me down a path which awakens my solidarity with the women of the world and the still very much present need for our empowerment. It’s really interesting that, despite the fact that many of us don’t feel we should actively engage in feminist activities, we subconsciously recognise that the work is not yet done and there’s still need for a little action. And we’re not talking burning bras anymore (I’m perfectly happy to wear beautiful lacy lingerie, thank you very much!), but we’re talking women with ‘balls’ (hope you excuse my language) who are not afraid to talk about what’s still missing in the world, as far as women are concerned.

‘After Caitlin Moran’s How To Be A Woman came out here in the UK in 2011, a younger crowd started talking about feminism and realising that our grandmothers didn’t quite manage to finish the job. But still, calling yourself one publicly can be frightening. It can get you into trouble. It opens you up to a world of criticism about how you are not feminist enough, or that you don’t really understand what you are talking about so should probably just stop.’ says Dawn Porter in her article for Stylist about the creator of Girls series, Lena Dunham.  ‘Personally’, she continues, ‘I like the way that Lena defines a feminist; it’s really just about whether you are looking out for other women or not. It’s inclusive and unthreatening. It’s how it should be. She has said [in an interview with Metro newspaper this month], <Do you believe that women should be paid the same for doing the same jobs? Do you believe that women should be allowed to leave the house? Do you think that women and men both deserve equal rights? Great, then you’re a feminist.>’

 When asked by Stylist what she thinks is the key ingredient of female empowerment, Gwyneth Paltrow responded: ‘I think knowing yourself, but truly. As opposed to the self your parents gave you or your partner or the school bully, or whatever. I think so many people give us ideas of what we are. I think as women especially, because we’re sensitive by nature, we’re more vulnerable, we absorb other people’s ideas about what we’re supposed to think or who we're supposed to be and how we’re supposed to act. And I actually think it ends up killing us, and that’s why we (as women) have 5-to-1 autoimmune disorders, compared to men. I really do. We somaticize that suppression of self, it comes out in our bodies.

I think the most clear, direct way to empowerment is to really know yourself and to really use your voice and to not be afraid of other people’s reactions' she continued. 'And to be really, really true to yourself. That to me, has been key to me in understanding how I want to live the second half of my life. It’s only recently that I’ve really fully understood that.’

And this, my dear readers, takes us closer to what steps we need to take towards empowerment: the realisation that women and men are different, they are not superior/inferior to each other in terms of abilities, they are just made differently. And when everyone will understand and accept that, we’ll all be living in a better world. And steps are being taken. Suzie Shaw, the female CEO of a creative ad agency in Australia, notes in an article for B&T Magazine:

‘Seriously, men and women are equally capable. But that’s not to say they’re the same (…) In our mutual pursuit of ‘equality’ we have all failed (women and men alike) to recognise that women are different, so need a different management approach to ensure they thrive.’

So who knows, maybe this whole discussion about empowerment starts with recognising our female structure and instead of trying to act like men and to beat them at their own game, why not say things like ‘I need more support, so I can do my job better’, ‘I can be a better professional with the right mentorship’, ‘I do work better when my efforts are appreciated’, ‘Why, thank you for the compliment!’ and ‘Men are not the enemy, but our partners in this journey through life’. Perhaps such simple and honest statements may begin to turn things in our favour, once and for all.

This thread of thought actually makes me think of the iconic ‘Sex & The City’ HBO series, which, why not admitting, has shaped a generation of women (group to which I too belong) into thinking that women are perfectly entitled to flaunt their sexuality and to treat men like objects, particularly through the lovable yet caricaturised character of Samantha Jones. It’s the whole ‘Eye for an Eye’ all over again. But the new light shed on the ancient men and women at war conversation makes me think that we’ve been looking at this all wrong: we should not be trying to be ‘THE NEW MEN’ but instead we should be trying to be ‘THE NEW WOMEN’, the women who find empowerment through their own intrinsic sensitivity and delicacy, the women who care about other women and about every living soul on this planet equally, the women who are finally awake and are making themselves heard. The likes of Eve Ensler (the author of The Vagina Monologues), Lena Dunham, Dawn Porter, Gwyneth Paltrow, Suzie Shaw or Caitlin Moran are not alone. We are wide awake, we hear what you’re saying and we feel empowered.